Now I have my 8th Step list in front of me in black and white. My Sponsor helped me see which amends can be made directly. He said.. as the text says..."If it isn't practical it isn't spiritual." My list was narrowed down to a few that can be made directly. Their are two parts...I Believe..to the 9th Step.."Made direct amends to such people wherever possible"...Friends, Family, & Co-workers..etc..However...The second part of Step 9 is VERY important. "EXCEPT when to DO so would INJURE them or others"...Myself included..If I didn't have a Sponsor I would have been in serious trouble after doing my 8th Step list and moving to making amends to everyone on that list. Most of my amends would have hurt the people more by opening old wounds and Ive learned .."We do not have the right to......endanger another person mentally, emotionally, or physically." [Basic Text page 39,40 Step 9]. This Step is for me, but if its going to hurt others the best amends would be indirect. One way to make indirect amends would be to continue on the road to recovery and to not repeat the behavior on my list. Forgiveness and Courage are some Principles to be practice in this Step..I'm learning and have come a long way from smoking crack in strange places to seeking help from God and others on "The Path"."We Now ... More Than Ever... Need The Guidance Of Our Sponsors"
Most of my amends like owing money to a grocery store was on my 8th Step list because I was 'Willing' to make restitution. However, just because its on my list doesn't necessarily mean I make direct amends. The Definition for injury: Wrong or injustice done or suffered, an injury to one's pride, physical injury, injury to one's reputation, or an emotional hurt etc...Their are ways of paying back what was stolen one day at a time. Giving back to others without them knowing it... is another way of making restitution. Steps 1-8 prepare me for this Step. Sponsorship is very important here....I've heard many strange stories on step 9 from going to prison to going to a person and saying I've been talking behind your back please forgive me. To me "IF" the other person doesn't have a clue that I've been talking about them what right do I have to hurt that person any longer. This step is not just about saying sorry. Its about changing...One step at a time and I need to remember this is a life long process....The Wisdom of Sponsorship is key with all these steps...A Sponsor is someone who has experience with All the 12 Steps, Traditions, & 12 Concepts...Thanks for taking the time to read my experience on Step 9. Im far from knowing every detail but do have some experience with step 9....Neurontin