UPDATE!

Winter Solstice is today and it is very fitting. It feels like last night was the longest night of my life and I wanted to hide under a rock. My T asked me to not do that and so he invited me to see him today.

He was SOOOOO kind and made time for me out of his own holiday time...and he was tender with my little parts. He was patient with them. And he is so good with kids and those parts of me!!!! Wow. He really is amazing with working with child alters. I think he would make one kick-butt DID specialty therapist!!!! He is THAT good with those parts!

Anyway he used his fingers for the EMDR work and all my little parts trust his hands. Hands are a HUGE trigger for us... especially man hands :-( But we feel so safe looking at his hand. LOL. It sounds strange perhaps, but that is the only way I can describe it. They will NEVER EVER be hands that harm us and all our parts are finally really being able to grasp onto that trust.

Also I did ask about the email and he just had not read it - which was very strange but it just happened! And I knew I could email him and ask about it, but my fear was what stopped me. My lack of trust in my T and in myself and my ability to handle whatever the reason was behind the lack of a reply. I am very glad he didn't read that email though because I know today would not have happened. And today was a day of transformation.

Winter solstice marks the change from the night winning into the day winning.
Today was that day for me on a very deep level - on a root level.