When I feel irrational, overly emotional or insecure, my boyfriend usually manages to stay very, very calm. He just listens and lets me get it out (he only pushes back when I totally go over the edge). What helps me (and he reminds me of this) is to change the physical setting. He says..."Let's keep talking but I need to stretch my legs...so how about a walk and a talk?" It's a very nice calming trick that I know I need but may be too worked up to actually implement. As long as I know that he's not just trying to shut me up by distracting me, the movement seems to bring in extra oxygen...for some reason, this can totally shift my mood to almost normal and I can see things in a MUCH more rational light. Maybe this could help you guys too.