Is this something you really want to be involved in? How you imagined your life would be? Smoking pot, shady business dealings, a language you don't understand, being excluded from decisions that affect you, being separated from your partner for long periods of time, while he does who knows what with whomever he wants? Granted, your boy-next-door from the same background as you may be just as likely to treat you the same way, but if the boy next door runs off with your kids, he might be a little easier to find. I would talk to the ex-wife and get her take on the "boyfriend / business partner". I am reading that he smokes before he sleeps with you? Does he ever not?