I know how you feel--I wish food wasn't a necessary part of life. I wish I could tell you that you needn't worry about how you "look" but you have to come to that decision yourself. there are more important things in life than what you look like, but I think that comes with age. I'm sure you look fabulous no matter what! I feel that there are underlying issues that make you focus on what you look like/what you're eating/not eating. have you seen a therapist?