The 4th Step is not about beating myself up. I've been doing that for years. Its actually the most loving thing I did for myself, as long as I have a good sponsor. Its not about every bad thing I've done its about good qualities as well. Its mainly about finding out the why I did that....??? Its God given instincts gone crazy. I heard this girl share that after she wrote her 4th step she felt so bad she went and got high. What I did was write little at a time and going through the process that was best for me. Some people do steps 1-5 in rehab. In any case if its to much..put it down. If you recall and incident jot it down so you wont forget. Take it piecemeal if you have to. But its only a suggestion do the steps. You wont regret it. Neurontin