hello, im writing to your sexuality thing u posted... I just wanted to tell you your not alone. I was raped at 12, had sex at 16 and wanted to be "raped" from there on... Then raped again at 19 and wanted it MORE... Choked, hit, everything... And then earlier this year, I was abused again. And while I dont necessarily want to be raped,the THOUGHT of a man forceing me turns me on... Ive always thought it to be strange. But in reading other posts on your post... Maybe our brain just gets stimulated by the past? Or maybe its almost thr sense of controlled rape (i.e. we can say no)sounds better than getting forced again therefore we follow what our brain knows...? Idk... All I can say is im sorry that all happened to you, but your not alone. If u do find an answer please do share... Thanks