This is a subject we addressed in T, also it has surfaced during this time: "How to break free" of harmful, or "schema" patterns in familial relationships as adults, especially adults in T, working to move forward.

If anyone out there did T with, or studied schema therapy, you know there are set patterns of behavior we may revert to or repeat on and on and on which were "grooved" into our minds (now some are sub conscious), about our identities in relationship to the responses we got or didn't get from parents, sibs, ex marriages, but mostly it all harks back to our personality shaping in family when we were young. Well, now I'm faced with NOT WANTING TO TURN BACK, GO BACK, OR EVEN THINK BACK, to interracting with family members still living, who have held me back either because of their insecurities or because they needed me for some purpose.

I feel like the bottom is dropping out. I don't want to see any of them anymore, for my mental health and forward propulsion, except my grown children, who are "my own", now "their own" persons. Even letting go of that is hard. I feel like I've gone through an enormous storm of reflection and letting go; sitting at the gate in some futuristic airport, and I cannot go back.

This includes "going back" to a place in time, a city in a place, where a big betrayal occurred from one sister. She will not confont it, will not speak of it, as though nothing happened. Yes, I forgive, but I want my own future. Since my parents died, the glue holding us together as relational is "gone." Basically I'm asking if anyone has "left" family for better times and pastures, to become themselves, and said goodbye with peace. I have my boarding pass, waiting for my flight to non-stop future, which, in reality is one day at a time building a new life, working with a new psych doc, exploring career options. Does this all sound childish? Rejecting? I suppose for those in happy marriages or bonded relationships it's different -- their love for one another is the all-important connection.

No more betrayal bonds....no connections with anyone who has emotionally abused me; is it too radical thinking? Will I over-isolate? Am I antisocial toward them? My childhood is intact; it's my adulthood now I'm protecting from their harm. I guess one could call that neutrality. Help!!! Any positive comments would be welcomed.