You know, as I was typing my initial post and reading yours, I was thinking of boundaries and how I really didn't want to get into that here....
BUT know it all me didn't stop to think that there are other boundaries, not just the type that implies that I need to understand that not everyone is a friend. I already know that part and the post is more of wondering why it is so hard to make real friends. I had no idea that there was more to it than that.
Thank you for the info.
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Originally Posted by Michael the Great
That's a good point. I have noticed that, as we get older, it's more difficult to make real friends. It could be a product of our society. Independence and autonomy are becoming increasingly more prominent in western culture. In a local grocery store, for example, customers rarely talk to each other aside from asking each other to move so they can get to the box of cereal or liquor. Stand in the line, and you'll see people with their heads bent over their cell phone instead of making light conversation with the people in line. As we get older, people seem to be more focused on immediate family and the occasional old friend. The value of new friendships has declined.
We still have social groups for people with a common interest to come together... such as book clubs or BDSM bars. But even then, I wonder if social groups have declined in the past years. I wonder if more people are turning to the internet to talk about their interests than going out and meeting people. We should do a survey...
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Originally Posted by madisgram
yes they do exist!  i'd recommend learning how to set boundaries with people. it takes practice but i say 'i'm no human doormat.' neither are you. if ppl hear you don't say 'no, that's not possible for me today' eventually they'll move on to another such person. another thought...perhaps you're choosing the wrong 'friends'. a healthy friendship is give and take like any other relationship.
i'm originally from VA and there are some very decent ppl there like anywhere else. hopefully my reply will assist you to find real friends. so sorry you're having a rough time of it but if you learn to say 'no' i hope your situation improves and you'll have true friends.
here's a great article you may find helpful re boundary setting- http://psychcentral.com/lib/2011/10-...er-boundaries/ |