I went through a pretty long period of being bitter about meds, probably a good 10 years.

Then I realized if that's all I have to do to improve my life this much, I probably shouldn't complain. Other people take medication for chronic conditions to feel "normal" and this is really not so different.

And it could be a lot worse, for example, dialysis would really suck. My stepbrother has cerebral palsy, which is a pretty raw deal that makes my pill-popping seem utterly trivial, and has helped me keep the issue in perspective. Lately I also wonder about the fate of the mentally ill in developing countries who may not have access to the meds that make life a little more tolerable for many of us.

Anyway, the effect of my resentment toward medication was non-compliance, though at the time I was being given SSRIs that screwed me up even worse, but I might have had the right dx 15 years sooner if I'd stayed on them. When I started having psychotic symptoms, I became really inconsistent about taking meds, which made everything a lot worse (rapid cycling between mania and mixed states, for months and months, with no real help or relief at any point) and eventually led to self-medication in a big way. I didn't get on an AD that didn't make me crazier until another major depressive episode flattened me later.

Moral of the story: yes, meds suck! But it could be a lot worse. End of lecture.