Today is sad. My husband is a veteran of the Iraq war, who has combat stress. After a trigger at work a few weeks ago, he started falling again. He was put on new medication, but that medicine doesn't work. He told me today that he going to quit taking all the medicine. He said he's figured out his problem- Its me.

I know this isn't true, but it still hurts. I have depression also, and I don't think the medicine does any good when your home life is such a wreck. But I'm trying hard to hold it all together for the babies. It's been almost 3 years since he came home from Iraq.

I am even more sad because Christmas is this weekend. We have never had a good Christmas together. I had planned to leave him after last Christmas, but instead ended up pregnant.

I am not saying its all his fault. Just that put two clinically depressed people in the same house with a 4 month old baby and a rebellious toddler, add some holiday and work stress, some gloomy weather...and you have a disaster.