Aaaaaw thanks you guys! I really love you guys ya know. Just a bit sad this week... Bf is distant, and Christmas was daddy's favourite holiday. Job contract is over in a week, have no idea how I'm going to cover schoolfees,stationary and transport come January. All I ever wanted these last 9yrs was to be a good mom and since i basically suck at caregiving i thought i could be a good provider and 'friend' and for a few years it seemed like i was succeeding, i became my version of good mom! But like most of you know, i got laid off in Feb, and it's just been downhill since then. Mountain of debt, failed at playing round the clock stay at home mom, and now i'm earning a few bucks a day which doesn't cover ANYTHING, and is over next week anyway feels like I failed Jordan, she used to look up to me... I didn't mean to whine, just a bit overwhelmed...