Why does it keep raining down on me without stopping?? . I cannot believe it (well, considering my immunity must be pretty low at the mo with all that has happened) but now I have the flu...and no voice. I have been struggling just to do the basics with no2 daughter over the past few weeks, now I can hardly even do that. She wants me, she wants attention, and I can barely give her either. I was so tired this morning I had to put her to bed so I could go to bed...That is so unfair on her. (She is only 21mths old). I have worked so hard over the past 13mths to build up a bond between the 2 of us, and now I feel almost nothing. I love her, and she has a strong bond with me but I just can't reciprocate it. I feel more like her nanny (and a very bad one at that) than her mum. I know that to help myself out of this black hole that is getting ever deeper I have to help myself but I have no energy, no desire even to do anything. I get up every mornig to her, and do what I have to but it is because I HAVE to not because I want to. She is missing out. And then on top of all that of course I am sick . Moan, moan, moan, moan, moan...