Open Eyes,

I think every word you write, every paragraph you make and everything you post is you giving yourself the answers. You eloquently explore and address all your thoughts, cares and concerns. You give yourself time to absorb and take the suggestions of T and those of PC seriously.

My only suggestion would be to put the "baby shoes" on and go slowly. Take your issues and break them into "bite size", manageable pieces. "Divide and conquer", no need to do it all at once.

Limit yourself to what you can take on at any one time. It didn't happen overnight, it won't resolve to some satisfaction overnight either.

Take care.