Hi,
For the last 3 months I have feeling bouts of depression and worthlessness unlike anything I have felt before. This prompted me to research depression and this led me to descriptions of bipolar disorder and I was struck by the parallels I drew with my own life.
Generally, I have 3 moods. Depressed, where I feel numb to the world and just want to stay in bed on the verge of crying for no reason, lock myself say from my friends and family - I have on a couple of occasions had urges towards suicide. During this phase I have no great desires towards anything, even things I usually enjoy, and have zero libido. Elation, which takes the form either of intense happiness and completely altered viewpoint (everything seems in slow motion, it's like being drunk) or fantastic excitement, where I become juvenile, playful and run around everywhere making crazy plans and being amazed at the smallest things, becoming distracted very easily. In this phase my libido skyrockets and I feel attracted to people (of both genders) in ways I would not normally. These are usually but not always bookended by 'normal' mood, which is largely me wondering whether the feelings will return.
I think I have had elated phases for several years now and only recently have I experienced depression on this scale. The phases can last anything from hours to days, sometimes with periods where I will change mood several times over a few of hours, without normal moods in between.
I would greatly appreciate help,
Thank you.