Have you tried a mood stabilizer like topamax? that and prozac are getting me thru the months, and they are both available in generic ie really cheap. wasn't it you who told someone else here, the only difference between you today and you yesterday, is that today you have a name for who you are or what you do or how you feel, words to that effect? You're still the same person, nothing has really changed. I get what you mean, of course, the feeling of the backpack had a false bottom and now what have we here!

Well, you were gonna be carrying that backpack the rest of your life anyway; now you have the option of dealing with that stuff, offloading it onto T. AND we are motivated in a way the kids aren't. I think the more time we spend in T, the shorter the wait at the pearly gates. It's about getting your "house" in order, whatever your belief system. I don't think my T is EVER going to stop and "coast", he is going to LIVE every last minute of his life. He is really an inspiration. He said the average age of T's right now is 66 (his age).

You are extremely intelligent. you can easily do what I did, which is google your way through your issues. there are tons of articles available online, or get them at your public library, or borrow books from your T. on the nimh website, one article will bring up 50 or more, you can get all shades of a subject. even just the abstracts are enlightening, we're smart, we can get the gist from a well-written summary. this knowledge doesn't fix your depression, but it helps you see where you stand in the world, and that helps a lot in a place where everything is relative.