I have been trying to pin point anger stuff lately-- It is nearing the holidays after all and I am more jump the gun with my anger here lately and sadly my Boyfriend is the butt of it all--- I talk to him and apologize I know I am out of line with some of it- we will talk, I tell him what other things are bothering me.

I told him at the beginning of the year I am going to start deleting contacts, not due to these people (not all) are bad, but due to no one talks to me and I am finding that over months, i feel sad, angry and so one with keeping their contact information and get more upset when I try to contact them and they don't respond back.
My boyfriend said that sounds ok- I just kept saying to myself this was an emotional thing-- to which it is, but it is not an emotional out burst of just deleting everyone- it is an emotion responce that i feel left and or abandand or unwanted by these "friends" that i keep contact of.. it does make me mad, but it is ok- a part of me does understand.

I have been more than angry lately though-- I have been more emotional and cried the other day --- I think the holidays get to me and I try to ignore them but yet not ignore them but yet ignore them

My brother- I am trying best to let my anger subside to that-- I know the fear with him- I fear he will go back to jail or worse, get his job done.... I never wanted either, but ya know if he wants to continue with "falling off the face of the earth" from Everyone- and only keep contact with his bad influences-- I think I need to say - done- I am sorry, I would like to hear he is doing well- but I get too engolfed with my emotions with him- which then in ways I break down my boundaries with him even if he is not around---- due to just not able to contact.

Any ways!
Be well all!