Dragonfly, I am so sorry you are experiencing this, but am glad you have a plan in place.

What I do during Christmas is to just think it will be over with quickly, and I won't have to experience these feelings for long.

I have had quite a few losses in my life and am always afraid I will start crying over at my in-laws in front of everyone.

I just told my husband this 2 days ago, and he told me if I need to cry, to just cry.

It will be over quickly for you, and I really hope you don't end up in the hospital for the winter, but if you do, it's the best thing for you to do to keep yourself safe.

In fact, just replying to this thread made me start crying and my husband understands completely and is very supportive. He just told me again that if I need to cry to just do it.

Everything will be over quickly during Christmas. Try to think that it will be over with really fast, and keep on telling yourself that you will get through it.

However, if you have suicidal thoughts during this time, please call that hotline and get yourself some help.

The holidays suck for so many people, and it's supposed to be a good time. The only good times I have had during Christmas was when I was a kid and believed in Santa Clause.

CHRISTMAS SUCKS!!!