Oh I completely missed what Perna quoted above. I absolutely agree. One of the worst things that came up when I was in your position was how isolating it is. There's a whole slew of people just waiting to tell you your an idiot for even considering continuing the relationship. I promise I was one of those people too, but you never really know how you'll react to something until you find yourself face to face with it. I told one friend who I knew wouldn't judge my choice and she was stunned. Not that I wasn't but she really couldn't find anything to say.

And self esteem, a year and 4 months after his cheating and I still haven't rebuilt it. I still question, as recently as yesterday, the stability of our relationship. And it's not for lack of effort on his part, but he's still there to reassure me.

I saw a counsellor for the first time in my life. I just felt like I couldn't go on. And even having someone to talk to and time to focus on me helped considerably. That's something else I should have said. Give yourself time to rebuild yourself -dont jump straight into working on the relationship. Be gentle with yourself