For the sake of your relationship (and your personal well-being, too), it would be worth it to try a mood stabilizer like lithium. I'm sure you have a great doctor, but really, I'm not sure why he is so hesitant for you to try something other than an antidepressant. Regardless, you deserve to feel stable and your boyfriend surely would like it as well, so I'd say, go for it! (I have taken lithium since the spring, with basically no ill effects. Bit of weight gain, but I lost it) Here's hoping things will start looking up for you