Very sorry for your loses. I see that you are a young poster. Have you ever shared your thoughts with anyone before? Loneliness can be a hard place to be. If you can do what you are doing to get out with other people. Try not to get stuck with this loneliness as it can keep pushing you back and you my never want to share in anything. Coming here is a good idea but we all need humens around once in a while. You might also try reading a self help book on loneliness to get a few more ideas. Your local library should have some. Good luck, keep us posted, happy holidays....