this was the first time i had ever seen this psych nurse.. i told her i was super depressed and many other issues im going through. I am just glad i never have to go back to her.
My goals with each med are diffrent.. I have wanted to get off of hydromorphone (in the same category as cocaine except hydromorphone i legal as long as its prescribed and it was prescribed. now its not and even though i have over half a bottle left it would be illegal for me to take any... as its no longer prescribed and.. the fact that its in the same category as cocaine makes me feel that it be severe punishment for me doing anything other than complying..) but its withdraws is what has kept me from stoping on my own. it was prescribed by my family doctor since july. now the psych nurse suddenly stoped that.. along with cymbalta which i practically pleaded with the psych nurse to not take me off of it because i was already depressed and i needed that or some other anti depresant that will help me. so ... i didn't want to drop that one... not until i was in a good place to do so, both mentally and physically. plus it helped a bit with sleeping.
the klonapin, and xanax, were for sleep, and were doing an okay job of it (4-5hrs)with the other mix i was taking with it (the two above mentioned meds, and benedryl), and the psych nurse doesn't really care.. its like she wanted me to end it all.. i still haven't wrapped my head around that yet.. so im confused.. why someone would be in that profession... and not want to help! .. but instead intently harm and put others in harms way.
im not wanting off all meds completely, as the add and adhd meds help, and im also on meds for crohns, and WAS on med for pain from the crohns (but the psych nurse unprescribed it yesterday abrutly stoping it). so i will always be stuck on meds as long as i want to live and stay healthy and feel okay..
brain zaps??? is that why i'm twitching and jerking off and on and getting static shock pains in my head?????
and nope, nothing in place for anything she dropped it and gave no compassion, and even laughed at me when i started crying... so... i dont even know how she made it this far without some serious problems... and no tapers. its all just stopped... cold turkey... cymbalta, klonapin, xanax, and hydromorphone were all stoped with no tapering... last night.. and nothing in place for them. nor anything... I went in taking 7 meds, came out only having 3... the main one i wanted off was hydromorphone but i kept that to myself and a few select friends... so it was not something i spoke of to the psych nurse yesterday...
I'm having good and bad waves. never completely okay, but right now im in one of those good waves..
I actually asked and almost pleaded for a tapper with cymbalta, because i explained last time i crashed off of just 30mg that i was in a good place and not already depressed, and got suicidal for no reason. And she said she would, then I waited 2 hours in the pharamacy then there was no record today at the doctors office of her writing the tapering dose.. so... I have nothing.. and when i try to get ahold of anyone, it's just all "we are closed for the holidays" stuff... and so i believe she lied to me. and she never intended on writing a taper dose.
She had no reasoning for it other than she was going to stop those and that i needed to stop taking them because they are now no longer prescribed, and that is how its going to be. I really had no say in this... and she kept twisting my words.. and saying that i was the one who was changing my story.. but it was her who just kept hearing diffrent, cause i was repeatively reading the same thing i wrote on my paper of "to ask doc" list and there was no change in what i said.. i read word for word and kept going "nooooo, i SAID, *reads off paper again*" then she was grinnning and was like "you realize you keep chaning the story. you havent stuck to one story yet!" and i finally gave up trying after the 5th time of reading off the paper outloud to her. it was ... impossible... and she ... used her position of power to do as she pleased....
I keep trying to get a clear head here, but it aint going so well...

But thanks for the reply!

EDIT: I know im not making sense real well right now. im really sorry im not really making sense. I try and it comes out funny when i try to talk or type... that or i'm reading funny... but.. i hope its not very confusing on what i wrote.