its okay Depressedalaskan i actually appreciate the good humor and thank you i wish you a happy holiday too. and Rohag i never thought of it that way but i feel uncomfortable going to anyone in my school bc its a small town and people talk :/ but i got so upset today i finally opened up to my cousin about it and her and my aunt and uncle said that they would gladly take me in, so it looks like things might be looking for up me into the new year