Hi Puramirez...I'm sorry to hear that you're starting to have these feelings...I've battled severe depression since the age of 16, I am 40 years old today, I can definitely identify with what you're going through, it was only within the last few months that I feel completely rid of depression, I feel like I've finally returned to myself (after all these years) Now I'm not saying that it would take many years to return to the way you once felt...I guess what I'm trying to say is..If I knew at the age 16 what I know in my heart now, I would have been healed a long, long time ago.
Fear, Anxiety, Worry, these are all the gifts of the devil...God says in His Word (the Bible) "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7) Now, I know in posting this, there will be many that probably say "Oh, boy here we go, another bible junkie....enough with the Jesus stuff already" and for those that say that or think that, I wish I had some sort of time machine to invite them back to who I was seven years ago. I live in NYC, seven years ago I was the type of person to laugh at people that would approach me in the subway with anything religious, seven years ago I wanted to hear nothing about God. I used to think "How could there be any God and if there was, why would he put me through so much pain. My thinking from that time has changed completely, and it happened only by the grace of God.
Puramirez my advice to you and anyone struggling with depression that is reading this post is this..... The depressed mind, the darkened mind that so many struggle with(usually triggered by something traumatic) says help...I need healing...I can't take this anymore...when will it stop?.... but it's that very mind that battles against the very thing that can heal it completely (the Word of God). The depressed mind is opperating in darkness, we as sinful, fallen humanity naturally gravitate towards darkness, now will a mind as such ever walk towards light? No it won't.......but it's that very light that's the Healing Agent. I say this with all confidence because I lived it, I'm living this, I've battled severe depression for decades and now God has turned me completly around. The devil may attack our minds with all kinds of destructive thoughts...but God...all powerful God will use those very attacks to draw us to Him...I was finally driven to God after all those stubborn years trying to do things my way, trying to come up with my way of healing....It was after I was worn down to the point where I could not fight anymore when I finally turned to God and said.. Lord do what you must. And that where he wanted me all along, a place of complete submission to Him (it took me decades to learn this). God will use the very afflictions of the devil, to bring you to a place of surrender and the realization that it is He and only He that can heal completely. We (man) are proud creatures, we wan't things our way, We hate to be told what to do, we hate to be under the control of anyone..but as long as we persist in this rebellious manner, we will not know the healing that can come from God....We must fight against our tendancy of PRIDE, healing can only be received as we struggle to become humble, push in the direction of humility and recognize that there is a much greater power than ourselves. The more humble we become, the more receptive we will be to the word of God, the more of God's word we receive into our hearts the more healing will take place. The prince of darkness does not wan't anyone to unlock this...."BE PROUD, Harden your heart to all forms of authority" is what he says to us......and as long as this is the mindset of a person, that person will continue to stay in darkness.
A wonderful website to receive the word of God from is www.sermonaudio.com one of the really cool things about this site is the "sermon by topic" search engine. This is how it works-- whatever you may be struggling with, lets say you're dealing with fear today- go to the sermon by topic (located in the left column) click on it and type the word fear in the search box, press search and you may get hundreds of sermons on the topic fear. Whatever you may be feeling; anger, anxiety, loneliness..., just type in the word and listen to as many sermons as you wish on that topic. This is what healed me completely. Submitting to God and receiving His word daily. Ok I've typed enough, Puramirez i pray complete healing for you and everyone else in this forum...Healing is a battle, it does not simply fall into one's lap, but as you fight to move in the direction of God he will give you the strength and grace to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Have a wonderful Christmas.
n. morgan
www.keeptrustingGod.com