Hi Dragonfly, please don't feel ashamed - my life is so messed up... We're here to support each other.

It's good you're seeing the doctor soon, anxiety pills sound good. My pdoc would prob say be careful about catastrophic thinking... but you do have good reason to be freaked out because of the past experiences you've had to go through with hallucinations. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all that.

When i'm having a bug fear, i do an energy work thing where i take a deep breath and vision a white light from my heart coming out to fill my aura about a foot around my body. This seems to keep me safe, or at least calm me down.

Good luck, hope all goes well with the doc. Keep us posted!