This site is intended to promote mental and emotional health. In keeping with this site's intentions, we all have an obligation to support and guide each other in ways that promote the mental health of participants.

Being gay is NOT a feeling. It is a sexual orientation. While it may seem noble to sacrifice one's personal life for family / religious peace, this is, in fact, dangerously dysfunctional. It is not easy to live a celibate life. It can cause depression - serious depression. It is a lonely and incomplete life. And, it does not guarantee one a life free from discrimination.

No one is gay by choice. It is an orientation that is no different than being left- or right-handed. Do you know how difficult it is to hide your true self from family and society at large 24/7 for your entire life? It is much, much better to have real love in your life, not the love of a family / society / religion that really does not want to know the real you. It is not mentally / emotionally healthy to hide behind masks for your entire life.

Net506 is a very intelligent young man. He appears to be fluent in 3 languages. He can move far away and have a real life with real friends and find real love, rather than familial love that forces him to lead a closeted life. Yes, we all want the support of our families but they cannot support him unless they know who he truly is. And, for religious purposes, it appears they will not support him. I have made similar compromises with my life and, you know what, it has not worked in the least. If you are perceived to be gay then you are treated as gay - celibacy has nothing to do with it. No one wears a sign around their neck that says "celibate." That's why it is so important to challenge this naive thinking. There is no guarantee it will work and there is a lot of risk both to his mental and physical well-being.

There are choices. And, his family (especially siblings) may come around eventually. It's best to move away and have a life. It sounds more difficult than it is but, it's worth it. I firmly believe that the moral thing to do in this instance is encourage Net506 to live a life that is true to his nature rather than living a closeted life to please others.