I use to love the holidays.
This year it is miserable for me.
1. my parents, even my only offline friend's father had commented that he observed that my parents were unresponcive to me years ago when I just met my friend. So you can imagine how horribe that they are and how they never gave me love and of course I tried to reach out to them many times for 2 years now and they completely ignored me
2. This stupid crush is hurting more than ever.
3. <edit, just in case>
4. I have no in laws
5. I never received any Christmas cards in the mail this year (cause I have no friends offline other than my only friend who is my roommate)
6. Because of all of this, I have been thinking about taking my life lately.
I have been depressed before, but I can not remember being this depressed in so long.
Why me, the pain it hurts so badly.
I hope that all of you are doing well I am always thinking of you all.