it seems like the only things that are somewhat of an escape is tv with my husband and eating - but after i eat i feel guilty for eating too much - left over feelings of being made to feel guilty about my weight as a child. i don't think anything is a real escape. i have an hour drive each way from work alone with my thoughts - pure hell! i try the radio and talking on the phone..no help. why is this happening to me - am i such a horrible person? I HATE LIFE!