Quote:
Originally Posted by pondbc
I have not posted for quite a long time.
Christmas is the worst time for me. I find the expectations are way too much. I am in the grip of a kind of paralysis and can' t do anything except be motionless and panic inwardly at what I have got to get done. As deadlines approach, I can feel I am getting quieter and quieter and my stomach is in a huge knot. No willpower at all. If there was a place to run away to, I would.
I am deeply sorry to sound so negative at Christmas.
The reason for my posting is that I want to know if anyone else is affected in the same way.
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I have vowed at last to stop this nonsense.
Every year I try to make adjustments and to what I can around the holidays. I end up overwhelmed every time.
This year I did little. No baking. No tree. No decorations. It still overwhelmed me. I don't like that I have to give gifts to declare my feelings or define my relationships. I'm not celebrating this holiday again.