Sorry if I'm not allowed to post this - mods please let me know if it's a problem.
...When things get too overwhelming and the depression takes over and I can't cope with the negative dialogue in my head anymore, I've been known to slightly overuse my prescription medications, just to 'bomb' myself out a little (mainly to go to sleep for a while, say 24 hours or so), just to get a break from everything. I just need the relief every now and then.
I know it's not the best thing, BUT when it comes down to taking an extra valium, clonopin or ambien instead of SI'g, I kind of feel like it's the lesser of two evils, so to speak?
Right now I'm fighting the urge to take an extra clonopin just to 'numb' myself out