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I have formed a conclusion after many years of introspection and gauging the behaviour and attitudes of my family towards me. I’ve come to realise that they don’t like who I am as a person. As much as I want to deny this unfortunately it is true. They don’t accept me or like my personality. Unfortunately it was like this in my childhood too! Yes I feel sad about this but it explains a lot: there is no healthy relationship, they never visit me, the communication is superficial and I get a very strong message that I’m not allowed to be myself when with them. Whenever I express my thoughts or feelings there is stern opposition usually through shaming me. What I hate even more is that they carry on like there is nothing wrong in the family. I unfortunately have become the scapegoat, I’m the one with the problem and so they just blame me. If I was a drug dealer, murderer or rapist it may explain their behaviour, but I’m none of these. I’m a highly ethical and law-abiding person but they don’t see my great qualities. I just want to be me and be accepted! Am I asking for too much??
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