So here is the deal...

My dilemma falls in not knowing if I should go back and try to face the one issue that seems to always trigger and serious depressive episode. Right now we are working on "light" stuff but I really that if I dont face and work through this that I will always be broken and non-fixable.

The issue surrounds my sister dying when I was 9 years old and the chaos that ensued during that time...the messages I took from what happened, etc. i dont want another episode of depression to land me in the hospital but facing this is the onlly way I can see a chance at finding happiness. I know my sis would want better for me. This issue is a huge trigger for my depression!!

I guess ideas and opinions and encouragement would be nice? Why do I make therapy soooooo difficult??? I gotta go...Im shaking...