Why do people keep telling me I'm a ggod mum? If I was a good mother I wouldn't have 1 child in foster care and have nothing to give the other. Poor wee girl- I feel really sorry for her. She wants my attention; she wants me to play with her and read her stories and I just can't even be bothered. I love her, but the bond that I have worked so hard on building up with her over the past 13 mths isn't there (for me). I feel like I am her nanny, and even at that a terrible nenny whom I would never let step foot in my door. I do the basics with her, and I do spend time reading her stories, and a very minimal time playing with her but I just can't find it within me to do much more. As my mood slips further and further down, and as I push myself more and more to keep going, the energy is just being zapped right out of me. I am sorry for all the negative posts recently- it's just that that is how my life feels like right now. Having Chloe being taken away was the last straw, although I know I should be pleased that no2 hasn't been taken. If she was then, oh my goodness what a mess there would be... I feel like I have hurt the girls so much. Chloe is such an angry, frustrated, frightened wee thing right now, and the o nly way I can make it better in my eyes is by self destructive behaviours (so I can physically feel the pain that is torturing her emotionally), and enjoying the whopping 4-5 hours I get with her on a Friday. I need to punish myself for all I have done to her and put her through. What good mother could possibly do that to her children??? As I go down and down I close myself up more, and isolate myself more. I can hardly talk to my nurse, and I am even avoiding chat (sorry ppl!!) coz I can't face anyone like this. Oh well, that was my moan for the day. I hope your day is brighter than mine!