Hi Ygrec!

You've obviously had a bad experience and it has made you angry and sad. But it is still very recent. You may be stronger than you think. You fell, now, that this changes everything and you will never be happy. But after some months of healthy grief, you may find that you do start to feel better.

I consider that I have beaten depression. But I still get sad and I'm sure there are some very dark days ahead. The point is, I will be sad over some external event (eg the death of a loved one), and it will pass. It's not like the sadness is part of me and never goes away.

Maybe you won't recover and maybe you will. It's simply too early to tell.