But I think that the general idea was that it is not possible to take money for any reason, as the act of taking it reaffirms the power the abuser has, or somehow otherwise legitimizes the power of the perpetrator.

Anne[/QUOTE]

Yes! This sums it up nicely. Money was always part of the deal. As a kid both my sister and I got monthly checks, although only I was abused. It was never a large amount, she worked as a kindergarten teacher. I recently found out she has told others she 'supported' us and. 'Put us through college'. Not true! Over the years I have done various things with the money- sqaundered it, saved it, used it for therapy, given it away to people panhandling, given it to various progressive charities in HER name that I deeply belive in and she does not, used it for basic expenses, even and sent the checks back. All I can say is that I do getting to the point of shredding the checks was symbolic.
Posting about this on PC has helped similarly to how T helps me, I think. It's made the experience manageable by putting it into words. It then ceases to be about overwhelming feelings that can't even be named and instead moves to something I can deal with and move on. Thanks to all who have been reading and posting.