pearls before swine. Athena, are you really saying, once you get to know that person, YOU'LL be gone? I "underchoose" too. I look back on some r/s and think (sometimes while i'm still in them) I wouldn't even want to be friends with this person, why am I married to them??? (That was the camping weekend fRom hell!) My T says my parents and I were a spectacularly bad match, so I keep trying to find and please someone who just isn't my match.