Mine is the same way. I could never be myself. Ive recently admitted to myself that while I know my mom loved me very much, she also judged me a LOT. She was mean about some things because she thought that scorn and shame would change me and make me do what she wanted. My life was mostly about pleasing everyone else till I moved out of the family home, then I was left with the task of figuring out who I REALLY was/am.