With a few that have done such a thing with me is either
1) they misunderstand something- either the whole situation or story and they are not taking it all in
I.e. I had my boyfriend telling me just a few days ago and was laughing about it- that while on the phone when talking to managers I continually say: "But I say"-- It took me a day or to figure out what he was hearing cuz I was like NO I don't- That makes sense and I would sound completely ignorant and simi controlling with that phrase-- but he was telling me "it's ok it is a nervous tick" while chuckling- I found no humor in it, I did tell him that and that he was being rude and mean to me with laughing at me-- He just does not understand fully with this- it was begining to enrage me- but he stopped picking on me about it and said-- "I myself say umm a lot when talking it is just a nervous tick"
It still annoyed the hell out of me and I thought for a second (few days actually cuz I could not figure out this "but I say" business) and I did think for a moment that he was messing around with me in a cruel way-- then I realized-- I do say after people are not fully understanding me but partially are- I will say something of: "about to say---" when talking to people, yes a simi nervous tick but it will be "about to say, this is how our procedures are in our dept. we need to follow them for security reasons. So i need you guys to give me more information." The other day I defended my self on this all- due to "But I say" sounds just so freaking irritating to me

2) They seem to confuse the story in the past and either don't remember what the hell they did or it is some sort of way to justify what they did or they don't want to look so bad
I.E. My Brother does this a lot-- he will claim that I went postal one day and that I was doing too many drugs or I was on my rag or something-- he will forget that he was the one that antagonized the whole situation or that a few weeks before or after depending on the story- that he did something very much worse than I did, directed towards me-- I.e. hitting the wall and stuff-- Actually one is that I waited till he went to work to get all my stuff out of the apt when I left, and he claims that I snuk around-- a week prior he hit the wall 2 inches from my face, and about 2 weeks before that his girlfriend at the time to which I hated and she despised me--- she went through my room and stuff when I was away at work- and left my cat out.. OR the one time that he got the car and basically told me I had to stay home cuz I was "acting like a child" due to I wanted to be a part of the car (I was paying for 1/2 of it-- think that is reasonable no) well I was rather upset- he was rather controlling and hit some stuff before he left and told me I was worthless and I cut myself by the time he got back home and i made a point to show him how much he hurt me-- That story gets turned out that my mother really messed me up-- and that car-- I never am mentioned as the one that paid 1/2 of it, or that I kept up the maintenance on it-- some people are just in their own worlds.
That all is forgotten but me going postal and yelling and saying I would be calling the cops if this stuff did not stop- is not forgotten. And yes at times he laughs about it-- which I love my brother but this is one reason why there is distant between us. I realize he has issues but I wont stand to be told this crap when I know what happened and will admit- yeah I may have went a little over board.

3) people just can't see the truth in things
My Mom is a big example of that- you saved money to move out on your own, while you were working and going to hs and you did not let me have any thing of it--- you stole from me..... little *****- with a little chuckle.

I am sorry for rambling LoveBirds

I am not even sure after writting this all IF IT Even Relates to what you wrote

But those are just a few of my experiences.

All I can suggest is depending on the person that is doing it-- I.e. with my boyfriend-- either try to get it cleared up, try to express in verbal talk on why it hurts you, and try to get validated for your feelings-- I did get a sorry from my boyfriend and that he was not trying to hurt me just he thought it was funny at the time and he was sorry-- I can accept it-- does not make it right to find it funny but he realized after words he hurt me
My brother- I have to basically chose which conversations with him I apply myself in- if he gets too on his high horse with things and neglect the whole story--- I refuse to be a part of it cuz he wont listen to the parts that he is leaving out
And people like my mom-- May she be well but she doesn't have to be in my life

Be well I wish you well and a big hug to you- how rude, and frustrating for others to do such a thing! and then use it against you- that is just lighting the fire more with fuel -

Be well.