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I'm so sorry your christmas was so terrible! It sounds like some of your family aren't the most pleasant to be around... To say the least... Please do remember that your neice, if she was at all raised correctly she would not have said those things. And although she did say them, please remember that they came from an angry part of her that wanted to see you upset, not a fact that she was citing.
A lot of people, especially immature people, will call others by names such as those. Most of the time, as teachers tell you in school, they really are saying those things because they have found something in YOU that intimidates them and they want to basically bring you down to their level. Don't let her.
You've gone a long way. Just worry about yourself, not immature people who just want to hurt others. Keep the focus on yourself and your healing, proving to them that what they say can't effect you really will be the best payback you could dish out, for yourself and for them. Teach them that what they say is exactly that, just what they say. It holds no truth and it holds no factual evidence and for that what they say has no power.
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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