Shez...very interesting questions that I'll really have to think about. I'm sure my main issue is the way my parents' relationship broke up...the result being that I actually promised myself at age 12 to never trust any man 100% (to reserve at least 5% of my heart no matter what). Some time in my early 30s, though, I realized how this practice really hurt my ability to be happy in the long run, but I can't seem to break this habit!!!

My father cheated on my mother and got caught in a fairly complicated lie that embarrassed my mother in a public way. He said he was traveling overseas on business and that he would not be able to go with my mother to her college reunion b/c his flight home was cancelled due to fog...my mother only found out this was not true when a friend said to her "So nice to see ***** last night and his friend from overseas." He'd actually never gone abroad but had his "lady friend" visit him from overseas and took her out in public to an event he normally would have attended with my mother. Needless to say, the ***** hit the fan and things went down hill from there.

I probably do have some self-esteem issues but no more than the average woman. My issue is that I don't completely trust either women or men...the woman that he cheated with was someone I knew and who knew my mother...I just know that deep down, people really are capable of just about anything...I have friendships with both men and women, but I have more male friends than female...mostly because the male friendships can be more superficial (i.e., safer for me) and women tend to want to be closer. I guess that I expect more from women (rightly or wrongly) and allow only a few to get really close.

I actually do like myself and think that I'm a decent person...but, I probably hold others to a high standard and, when they disappoint me, am fairly quick to end a friendship if I feel as if trust may be in question. But, I don't know if I assess people in a clear way...I may see stuff that really isn't there and use it as an excuse to run away emotionally....

How did you actually improve your level of trust?