It's both - feeling too good for somebody when you underchoose or not good enough for somebody who you think is a decent person. I guess I generally don't seem to attract the latter - probably because I sabotage myself and manage to 'unattract' them right after "Hello, nice to meet you." I suppose that's the category I put my T in. The category I put my Mom in. My Dad - I suspect was like me - repressed, withdrawn workaholic who was very cynical about most things and didn't appear to enjoy life at all. But we never really talked. My brother - is morbidly obese, depressed, OCD, ADD, diabetic and lives off my Mom. I get along with him quite well - his failings generally don't hurt me. My sister? I don't know. She runs with the popular crowd, and the one I think my parents would choose as the one worth 'saving' if her and I were in a 'parent must choose which one lives' scenario. In a weird way, I look up to her even though she's aggressive, attention seeking, judgemental, mean (to those who have no useful purpose to her), a bully and builds herself up by putting others down. But somehow - she gets away with it in life. So she gets what she wants - a wonderful husband, all the material things she wants, happiness, success, lots of friends, tons of energy and is unencumbered by guilt over who she hurt to get there. I don't know - maybe a great example of something I read somewhere "All the wrong people have self-esteem".