I think you are diagnosing yourself, calling it your OCD. You have a lot of "reasons", and I am not nearly as articulate as you are (although yeah I can talk up a similar storm!), but all this logic and rationale is like before, prep talk out of touch with your FEEEEELINGS (as a T used to intone), and I still feel like you're beating around the bush? So what is this anxiety about the future really asking / masking? WILL you ever be done with therapy? Do you need an advanced degree for T/mom to accept/recognize you? Is your work valuable if you're the only one doing it, T/mom isn't watching you? This might be rapprochement (my favorite phase!). Which may be where T's question of, why give HER the power, comes from. OH! I think I am getting it myself. Why not ask someone who can freely and without reservation say yes? Because if THEY reject you, they reject YOU. If T rejects you, it's because of the r/s, AND it/T just proves AGAIN, you aren't GOOD ENOUGH? Which will surely mess up your therapy. And honestly my intent at the beginning of this was just to ask/answer, why are dual r/s verboten?