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Originally Posted by noncontra
It always seems like the women I meet resent me and so I have difficulty connecting with them.
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My gut instinct is that you're projecting these feelings onto other women. Self-sabotaging, if you will. If you look at it from a purely rational perspective, you know it isn't possible that every woman you've ever met dislikes you. It's either imagined or you're unconsciously altering your demeanor around women and giving off a Stay Away vibe.
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I hang around with a few guys and feel quite comfortable with them. There is one other woman in our group and even though I always make an effort with her, I have failed to really “connect“ with her like I have with the men. I just don’t get that “spark”.
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You aren't going to like every woman you meet, and vice versa. There's no such thing as an esoteric Great Sisterhood that psychically and spiritually unites all vagina owners.
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I hate gender stereotypes but I feel I will have to invoke some here... From society's perspective, I would be considered quite "male-identified" in my interests (philosophy, politics, science, computers). I have also been told that my mannerisms and general demeanor are more male than female. I have "male traits" such as being individualistic/solitary, strong/silent, rational, assertive, nerdy. (Eurgh, I hate myself for writing that! I definitely do not endorse these gender roles). But yes, I have always been like this ever since I was a child. Could this be relevent?
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Not really, no. I've met plenty of women (mostly online because I'm not a social creature) who share your personality traits and inclinations. Maybe you want to consider joining groups that cater to your interests. I'm sure you'll meet like-minded women if you seek them out.
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A while ago I read that it’s easier for women to get along with men because they just appreciate the female attention anyway, so they welcome women, they make allowances for them and you have to do less “work” to establish a friendship. Could this be a factor?
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That sounds about right. I have a feeling that the women you yearn to interact with maybe don't fit your idea of what women should act like. Do you think it's possible that you expect women to be more warm and mushy than their male counterparts, and when you don't get that warmth from them you conclude that they don't like you? Maybe your standards for male and female behavior are different and this is coloring your perception of others' perception of you?
I think you'll find that your "soul sisters" are more likely to appear cooler and indifferent at first glance. Try to initiate conversation anyway. Try to remember that it takes time to form relationships, and sometimes the best ones start off on the wrong foot or don't appear to be going anywhere in the beginning. Most importantly, I really think you'd be pleasantly surprised if you made an effort to meet women who share your interests. It's a rare thing to accidentally meet your new bff...people are generally drawn to those who are somewhat similar to themselves.
Good luck to you
