I should be there. The normal is made possible by medication and I don't want to be on it forever. I just don't want to give her a topic that we should be talking about.

"tendency to minimize everything, and didn't want to deal with it. Now that I'm there, I agonize whether I should continue" this is it exactly. I'm trying to talk my self out of going.
" But I just listen to my feelings; for now I just them guide the way" and that's what I need to learn how to do (without anxiety interfering)