T says that if you change the things you focus on, the things you focus on will change. I also understand that neuronets are created with perception of events that happen around us. These neuronets change connections as feelings change and stimulations change.

Why can't I get mine to be healthy? Why are all of my neuronets stupid!

I have a good day and then BAM! I'm right back to someplace other than the pit. I can't even call this place a pit. It's stinks! And I'm getting Fed-UP!!!!!

I want to have a healthier outlook on life but it all seems like trying to fool myself. I could say "look at the blue sky and today I am off and I have two healthy children a supportive husband blah blah blah blah blah blah." And it all seems like crap! Crap Crap Crap!

I am so gosh darn friggin frustrated I could just erupt!

Yesterday, I was sitting on the front porch drawing. While I was doing it, I thought how nice it looked. Later, I looked at it again and thought who the heck am I trying to kid? My artwork is the one thing that has always been just mine - and now it seems to have been taken away from me too!

This stinks stinks stinks double dog stinks!

Songbird