I feel like I have such a great life right now, I’m happy (for the most part), I have someone I love but yet I’m still having SI and Sui thoughts. I shouldn’t be this way, I’m happy and yet even in my happiness I want to cut.

I haven’t told my boyfriend that I cut but he has definitely started noticing the scars all over and asked about them. I told him he won’t be able to break me of some bad habits and he said he will try to help me as much as possible. Still I’m scared of what he’ll say or do, I’ve lost too many friends because I told them. I was starting to not care, starting to be okay with telling others about my scars but now I’m not so sure. I seem so strong on the outside but I’m ready to break any moment. I don’t know what to do. He makes me so happy and I want to be open with him.

I’m happy but still wanting to, I know it’s an addiction, I am well aware of that but I’m happy, shouldn’t I have no need to hurt myself? You would think it would be as simple as happy don’t cut, but if you’re sad, angry, frustrated, depressed, etc... cut.