Addiction is a disease, and that is something that it was REALLY hard for me to grasp for a long time. I woke up every day thinking "today will be different" and by the end of the day, there I was, drinking another bottle of wine and telling myself "TOMORROW will be different". I felt ashamed and discouraged and confused. I couldn't find my way out, despite so many good intentions.

For me, I really had to deal with the addiction before I could deal with anything else. I decided to try a 12 step program because I was desperate and really didn't understand why I couldn't stop. I grew up in an alcoholic home, and I didn't want that for my boys, at all, so I was willing to try anything.

That was almost 8 years ago, and I'm still sober. I've had problems along the way with other things (painkillers) that I had to deal with, and it's been hard work, but I have the tools I need now to live life the way I want to live it. I don't miss the years of wondering why I couldn't stop, despite being an intelligent, determined person who really WANTED to stop. Life is so much better now.

That is MY experience and you will find your own way...but I wanted to share in case it helped in any way.