I think Stumpy is on the right track. It seems like you have a desperate need to be liked by others. I think you have created an unconscious habit of basing your entire self worth on how you THINK other people see you. It is possible that Carla never hated you, but maybe did not see things the way you do and therefore had a difficult time relating to you. You might have perceived it as her not liking you, but becoming angry because she is not acting how you would like her to act will not help you, make you feel better, or force her to be your "friend". Even if it was acceptance, rather than friendship, that you were craving from her, it doesn't have anything to do with her as a person. It seems to me that you really need the ego satisfaction of being "liked" by everyone, and cannot tolerate someone being indifferent to you, or choosing to not associate with you.

I think you might benefit from some meditation, if you can quiet your mind for a while (which is difficult when your are emotional - I REALLY struggle with it). How much time and energy have you wasted on trying to make Carla, or other people who act like Carla, be the person you want them to be? How would you feel if the tables were turned, and someone was acting that way toward you? Why do you think think it matters so much to you that you are liked by everyone? Which would you rather have, people pretending to like you, or people being genuine towards you so you can find meaningful relationships with people who actually DO truly like you and appreciate you? Do you know who you are, what makes you happy, and where your personal boundaries lie (behaviors that you will or will not tolerate based on how healthy those behaviors are for your mental HEALTH)?

I read a post from you a while back stating that you felt like you didn't have any friends. You need to be able to respect other people's position in life, their outlook and views, even if those views are not what you would like them to be, before anyone can truly be your friend. A friend LOVES you for who YOU ARE, and encourages you to be strong, independent, and healthy. A friend will be there for you during your most difficult moments to help you pick up the slack when you are confused and weak. A friend also knows that YOU will also do these things for them. When you try and force people to comply with your will, you are not demonstrating character traits that would lead people to believe that you would make a good friend (based on the criteria above - and other criteria that I'm not bright enough to think of right now).

If you love and respect yourself, you will have an easier time loving and respecting others. I think a therapist would be very helpful for you. There might be issues in your past that you haven't dealt with, and are keeping you from finding that self love that is so important. Your life is so short! Don't waste time making yourself miserable and then projecting blame on others. This behavior only hurts you. Other people will simply respond to behavior like this by distancing themselves because they don't want to get hurt.

I feel like I'm coming off condescending, so here's a secret: we only see faults in others that we recognize in ourselves. I have struggled with the very same issues that you are writing about, as I'm sure a lot of people have. It's OK to feel disappointed sometimes, and it's OK to let yourself cry, or be angry, or feel slighted...but we all eventually have to make a conscious choice to either let our interpretation of what others are DOING TO US rule our actions and emotions, or we can focus on the things that make us happy and make an honest effort to not react to situations in a self-damaging way. Stop blaming, and start taking action to make your life better and love yourself more.

I sincerely hope you find happiness, and stop dwelling on what Carla or anyone like her thinks about you. I'm sure you are a beautiful person, inside and out, and I hope that you believe that about yourself soon!