Quote:
Originally Posted by Calista+12
I guess the holiday happened but I really wasn't a part of it. I wasn't even an observer in the background this time. "No one" was there. I was just along for the ride, experiencing the people, food, gifts...with total indifference. Nothing could get me to feel a part of this. Not even my grandson. There is not one emotion in my head. (I can't say for sure if that bothers me) It feels as though someone shut out the lights in my head and nothing is going on.
Has anyone experienced that? Is it a form of dissociation? I've never felt like this before.
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I have had a similar experience where I feel nothing, things are going on around me, but I am unable to connect. I don't feel like I am anyone in particular. For me it is like being in the space between. I have to believe there is a good reason for it. It does give me time to look around without reacting. And later on I make up for not being there by spending extra time with the people I love. For me I think it is triggered by something or someone. Maybe it is the holiday itself, the house, some other family members, I don't know. But there is a reason for it. Just make an effort on another day to take some time to spend with the people who make you feel good. That always makes me feel better.