Oh wow, mtd. I'm so sorry that all happened to you. I always thought my family was the normal one and when I went to visit friends and their father didn't yell and their mother wasn't in bed and the family went on trips together, I thought they were so weird and I wanted to run home so that I could expect what was going to happen. I often wonder what you do and I am very suspicious of people that I let my son go around. I hope that one day you will be able to put these horrific memories to rest far away and that you will be able to live a happy, misery free life, God knows that you deserve it. I hope you SOON find your peace